Release.

There is only one final separating me from the end of my first semester of college.

Honestly, it's weird to feel so far in life, and still as though you've hardly begun.

I mean, when I was a kid, college was something so extremely foreign and far off. It felt like I would never get here. I guess that's what a lot of events have felt like for me, though. I've seen them all from an outside perspective, and they seem so huge, but when I get there myself it's just another stepping stone to the next big thing. We picture these events in our heads like they're going to be massive and earth-shifting, but we get there and then they're gone. Funny how it works.

Everyone always asks how I like college, if it's hard, etc. I really am being one hundred percent honest when I say that I love it. Nothing in my life has ever felt so right. That's really not an exaggeration; I have made a lot of decisions in my life, and coming here was the best one yet. The funny thing is that both of my visits here weren't that great. Actually, I felt fairly miserable both times.

My first visit was sometime during the fall of senior year, and I had just contracted a cold. I was sick and memories of that day are really kind of fuzzy. I remember not falling in love with the campus, and wondering if it was really a place I wanted to be. But, I knew it was a good school, and at the time, I was very interested in getting into the musical theatre program and getting some high quality training under my belt. I met with a senior MT and discussed what being an MT was like, myself barely contributing as I was in such a fog. I also met with my now voice teacher, and, since I couldn't exactly sing, went through some potential audition material. It all sounded great, but deep down, I wasn't convinced. But if this wasn't it... what was?

The next time I came to the school was for my audition. That was quite the day. Quite the day. Honestly, it was miserable because of my own attitude. I got there late, and let myself get nervous. I didn't try to make any friends. I gave into my insecurities and isolated myself. I didn't eat lunch. Terrible, terrible choice. If I don't eat, my mood plummets. So that just made things everything that much worse. The audition was really well run, and everyone was very friendly, so I don't blame anyone but myself. I was thrilled when it was over and that I could get the heck out of dodge.

When I wasn't accepted into any of the programs I auditioned for, I was obviously a little discouraged. Looking back, I know I wasn't prepared. I wasn't at the level that I needed to be in these programs. They're cut throat, and I was just too meek and, well, an amateur. (not to say I'm not still an amateur) I wasn't sure what to do with myself. However, in my gut, Baldwin-Wallace was always where I was being pulled, MT or not. I was afraid that I was making the wrong choice, because people always say that you don't like a campus when you visit, don't go there. Plus I just wondered if there was somewhere that I hadn't looked at that would be better. I got scared. However, I decided that I had to make a choice, and Baldwin-Wallace was it. If things went badly, well, transferring was always an option. I swallowed my pride and went for it.

Trust your gut. It dragged me here, and I am happier than I've ever been in my life. I'm in a theatre department that is my perfect fit. My friends... God. I can't tell you how much I love them. Every day, something happens that makes me so thankful to be here with them, so thankful that they're in my life. I was afraid I wouldn't make any friends here, but I have companions that I've been close to even since orientation this summer. I met people on my first day here that are some of my bests. I've met so many beautiful people, from so many places with so many different stories... I love it. I love them. I'm going to miss them with all of my heart over winter break. Here, they are my family. They are everything to me.

It's sappy, I guess. But it's really all true. I can't imagine transferring, leaving all of this treasure that I've found. My experiences here have been incredible. I also have to say, the location of the college is also one of my favorite things. The city isn't far away, I can go to the mall pretty much any time I want, there's essentially any restaurant I could ever dream of within a thirty minutes drive. This is my kind of place. Sooo... Meadville, you're great. But don't expect me to stick around my entire life. Sorry.

Maybe it's because I've never lived anywhere but Meadville, but I like Ohio. Really, I do. It's kind of fantastic.

So that was essentially me just ranting my love for college. Well, I talk about it enough. Might as well write it all down as documentation, so when I'm old and cranky I can remember the beginning of the best years of my life.

Thanks, B-W. Thanks a bunch.